On the prowl for some fun and interesting sex toy news I came across a news article about a woman in Maryland who had to be airlifted to a hospital after sustaining injuries caused by a homemade sex toy device. Wanna know what the contraption was? Get ready to grab your crotch and cringe as you hang on for dear life! They’her partner and her’attached a sex toy to a high powered saber saw blade! Fucken ouch!!! Turns out that the blade cut through the toy’you can imagine the rest?
Yes it’s true, only a jackass would think to place a saw anywhere near the vagina’or maybe it was her anus? But I guess when you’re all aroused at the idea of trying something new it’s easy to lose all common sense with the blood all having drained out of the brain and into the genitals and all. And, I guess you can’t really blame a couple for wanting to try out the latest high powered sex toy craze ‘ sex machines, but thankfully there are easier and much safer ways of doing this!
So for those of you looking to mix things up and just jonsing to try out one of the sex machines without needing a trip to the emergency room, I thought I would go over some of the available sex machines so that you could get all the excitement without the risk of injury! And while some of these may seem a tad pricey it certainly is worth every last freaking penny if it means coming out of it with hundreds of orgasms’and your life!
Three High Powered Sex Toys That Won’t Kill You!
Ceasar 2.0 Love Machine: This baby is a hot ride for both men and women because it comes with a Cyberskin dildo and a Cyberskin vaginal masturbator! The flat base is designed to keep it in place between your mattress and box spring so that you can fuck or get fucked to your heart’s content without having to worry about a thing! And it’s on sale too!
Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Sex Machine: This is extremely affordable’even more so than any homemade contraption! It is just as the name states ‘ inflatable and it can hold up to 300lbs so you can ride it alone or with a friend! And since it is inflatable and flexible, you can use it in all of your favorite positions so you get a whole lotta bang for your buck!
Love Machine: This one has gotten some mixed reviews but I thought it worth mentioning anyway. It is the closest in design to the most commonly seen sex machines in the videos that we’ve all seen (whether we admit it or not!). It is simple and easy to use and a lot more affordable than it was when it was first introduced on the market. It offers pulsing, thrusting and vibrating at different intensities which means getting’ off will be easy!
So there you have it ‘ sex machines for your pleasure that won’t harm or maim you in any way’except by maybe causing an orgasm-induced coma-like state as a sex toy should!
And though it should go without saying; please oh please leave the sex machine making to the pros and DO NOT place any sharp objects in or even around the genitals!!!! Well, at least not those sharp enough to kill you.