I’ve been dreading writing this dildo review. The moment I took the Maia Kendall out of the box, my heart sank. I knew right away that Kendall and I weren’t going to be friends. This dildo is larger and more textured the promotional photos suggest, even when taking measurements into account. It should also be noted, right from the outset, that this dildo is incredibly stiff. When I tried to bend the toy in half to judge density, I couldn’t do it with just one hand. Ultimately, I took both of my hands and all of my strength to bend this thing. All of that is to say that in use, Kendall is a toy that feels even larger than it is. Coupled with its deep ridges, Kendall feels like a monster inside of me. And maybe that’s your bag, baby. But it’s not mine. There just isn’t enough lube in the world to make this tolerable for me, let alone pleasurable.
NOTE: Annoyingly, the Maia Kendall is sold at some retailers as the Maia “Astral D3 ” or Maia “Porpora D3.” As far as I can tell they are the same toy but the manufacturer’s website calls it “Kendall.” Confused yet?
The Dirty Details
A quick browse through the pictures of Maia’s Kendall on my Instagram feed shows that I had fun photographing it. But that is where the frickin’ fun ends. For my vagina, Kendall is a painful ride. And without about fifteen minutes of warm-up with a smaller, smoother dildo, it would have been impossible for me. Kendall’s head is 1.5” but because of dildo’s stiffness, it felt broader to my senses. For me, initial insertion is never comfy for anything over about 1.25” (unless it’s super squishy) but if I’m warmed up and aroused, any discomfort quickly subsides.
In Use
When I inserted Kendall, my vagina responded with white-hot pain that was in no way soothed when introduced to the stiff ridges in the shaft. The ridges on Kendall are deep. They’re like mountains and valleys deep; they are as deep as a quarter of an inch. If you have a ridged dildo for reference, get it and measure it. A quarter inch ridge is a ton of texture. It might as have felt as unpleasant as it did if the dildo weren’t so darn stiff. As I discovered with the Stronic Drei, I don’t love a ton of texture. But the ridges on the Stronic Drei don’t compare to the deep stiff ridges on Kendall. Maia’s Kendall is a firm, filling and highly textured dildo. If those adjectives sound good to you, you’ll probably love Kendall.
As for me and my body, it’s my vagina’s own private nightmare.
I found the overall length to be generous without feeling daunting.
I wanted to love Kendall because it has a lot to love about it. It’s made of satin-soft silicone. My hand glides easily over its smooth texture. Unlike some silicone toys (like Fun Factory’s Stronic Drei), Kendall’s texture isn’t particularly draggy. That means it doesn’t require as much lube for smooth insertion. Another major plus is that Kendall’s flared base doubles as a suction cup. I love a dildo with a suction cup for lazy masturbation. Ideally, I’d stick the dildo to a door, bend over in front of it, and fuck myself by rapidly opening and closing the door.
More Potential Issues
Unfortunately, Kendall’s suction cup doesn’t work for my door-fuck method. It’s just not strong enough for the dildo’s heft. I tried sticking it to my glossy painted door, a mirror, my fridge and the marble cutting board I use for photo backgrounds. On every surface, Kendall stuck around for up to a minute before unceremoniously falling to the floor. Lame.
The flared base makes it anal-safe but I don’t ask me if I tried it. My rule is that if my vagina can’t handle it, it doesn’t get to go anywhere near my butt. I’m skeptical as to whether the thin base could support its weight when used in a harness but I don’t have a harness. According to Maia, though, it is O-ring harness compatible.
Because of the ridges, the girth ranges from 1.5″ to 1.75″.
Lastly, Kendall is available in an unremarkable purple shade and aqua blue. They’re not the original colors but at least it’s not the usual: pink. I bought Kendall in purple.
Pricing and Value
Like all of Maia’s toys, it’s the greatest draw is its price tag. At $30, it’s not too much of a loss even if you hate it. And if you love the fullness of girthy toys, it might be the greatest $30 you spend all year. There are very few genuine silicone dildos from reputable companies for under $50. For $30, most options are made of non-body-safe (and potentially toxic materials). I want to see a variety of body-safe dildos that this price point to give cash-strapped consumers more options. Sex toy safety ought not to be reversed for the wealthy and privileged.
Manufacture’s Claims
Here’s what Maia Toys has to say about Kendall:
“KENDALL is a luxurious, soft-touch silicone dong. 100% medical-grade silicone. Swirl pattern. Very strong suction cup base.”
So is that bullshit or nah?
Yes and no. Kendall sure does seem luxurious with its satin finish that’s all kinds of smooth to the touch. But I didn’t find the base to be particularly strong. Kendall is heavy and supporting its weight is a challenge. The dildo’s suction is not up to the task. Of course, the ability of the suction cup to stick to a surface is highly dependent upon the texture of that surface. All I know is it failed the suction test in my lab (a.k.a. my bedroom).
Pros
- Accessible price
- Body-safe silicone
- Great for textured toy lovers
- Smooth texture doesn’t require tons of lube
Cons
- Rock-hard density isn’t for beginners (or me apparently)
- Suction cup is borderline useless
Quick Specs (The Same Questions We Always Ask)
- Manufacturer? Maia Toys
- Material? Medical grade silicone
- Price? $30
- Body-Safe? Yes
- Dimensions? 7.8″ (7.0″ insertable) L x 1.75″ maximum girth
- Anal-Safe (Does it have a flared base)? Yes
- Suggested Use? G-spot or prostate stimulation
- O-ring Compatible? Yes, but untested by me
- Vac-u-lock Compatible? No
- Lube? Use plenty of water-based lube
- Ease of cleaning? Easy Peasy. As with other silicone dildos, wash with soap and water before and after each use. To sanitize: wash with soap and water, rinse and follow using a 10% bleach solution with one-minute contact time. Rinse. Alternatively, wash with soap and water, then boil for 3 to 5 minutes to sanitize.
- Storage? Kendall comes with coordinating drawstring bag. I’d recommend using it because like most silicone toys, it attracts lint.
Final Thoughts
Maia Toys’ Kendall is not a bad toy, but it’s not for me and my vagina. If you’re like me and you prefer squishiness over stiffness, sleekness over texture, or a petite overall design, Kendall isn’t worth it. Even if it’s only $30 bucks. Conversely, if you love textured dildos and don’t mind a stiff dong, bliss has never been more affordable.
